Been tagged by Cez...

Seven things that scare me...
~ Death
~ Ghost
~ Flying roaches
~ The Grudge
~ The Others
~ Sleeping alone in the dark after attending a funeral
~ Dying alone

Seven things I like the most...
~ Watching movies
~ Long drives (pareho tayo Cez!)
~ Shopping (malamang maraming kapareho to... trabaho ko panga... heheheh)
~ Eating... lagot!!!!
~ Roller Coaster Rides!
~ Cruising!
~ Animals

Seven random facts about me...
~ Soon to be mommy
~ Corny
~ Loves corn
~ OC (Obsessive Compulsive) minsan
~ Silent
~ Loves to watch Anime!!.. well cartoons in general… heheheh
~ Loves to travel

Seven important things in our bedroom...
~ Bed
~ Pillows and comforters
~ Alarm Clock
~ TV to hear weather report in the morning
~ Tissue box (with tissue syempre) – to use after I sneeze a million times as soon as I wake up.
~ Phone/Cellphone (emergency calls)
~ Lamps

Seven things I plan to do before I die...
~ Have 2 kids
~ See all Disney theme parks
~ Try all the cruise destinations
~ Go to Palawan for vacation
~ World Tour
~
~

Seven things I can do...
~ Basic Electrical work
~ Basic Plumbing work
~ Iron clothes
~ Bake
~ Temporarily Fix things in a MacGyver way

Seven things I can't do...
~ Cook (I can but … not as good as my sisters)
~ Parallel park (I can but… it will take me forever to do it)
~ Park backwards (forget it!)
~ Eat okra and eggplant
~ Garden! (mamamatay lang ang mga bulaklak sa akin)
~ Creative writing (wish ko lang na tulad ako ng mga kapatid ko!!!)
~ Remember what I did last month or even before that

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex...
~ Responsible
~ Kind
~ Sensitive to other people’s needs
~ Makes me laugh
~ Smart
~ Loveable (asawa ko mashadong loveable na kahit strangers lumalapit sa kanya and start a conversation… grabe…)

Seven things I say the most...
~ Tapos?
~ Ah talaga?
~ Hi!
~ Are you ok?
~ Nge!
~ Really????
~ Oh My God!

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign)...
~ Andy Garcia
~ Aga Muhlach
~ Denzel Washington
~ Orlando Bloom (hayh)
~ Colin Farrel
~ Tom Brady (New England Patriots) wowowweeh..
~

Seven people you want to take this quiz...

~ Kuya Ari
~ Ash
~ Jace
~

Weight...

I was just thinking the other day… I lost 20 lbs… now I’m gaining it back. I mentioned that to my co-workers… and one of them said…”at least you’re not gaining 20lbs on top of the 20lbs” … I never thought of it that way. At least now I know that even if I gain the more weight I know that I can lose it again. :)

Cravings!

It’s funny when you’re pregnant and you suddenly have the craving for something. After the “siopao” incident, I thought to myself… what would be the next? On Friday, I didn’t know what I wanted to eat for dinner. I thought about it the whole bus ride from work going home as my husband and my sister is just waiting for me to decide. I pondered on every restaurant that the bus passed by and none of them seemed appetizing to me. Until finally, a mile away from the house, I decided… I want FILIPINO FOOD!!! Specifically… Lechon kawali!!!! So I sent a text message to my husband and told him where I want to eat. When we were driving to the restaurant, I was sooo excited. WERDO!!!!

Yesterday, It was 4pm and I was huuuungry. One of my co workers mentioned canolli… so I said… nah… and then .. it just hit me! BEARD PAPA cream puff!!! (http://www.muginohousa.com/)YUMMM!!!! I suddenly searched for the nearest store and decided to go and buy cream puffs right there and then. My co workers haven’t heard of Beard Papa so I bought a dozen. 3 for them and the rest for me… hahahahaha. I was only able to eat 1 as my stomach, it seems, got smaller as soon as I got pregnant. I also ate one this morning for breakfast. It was good.

Siopao

For the first time, I really really really wanted to eat something… and that is… SIOPAO!
I looked on citysearch.com for dimsum places, unfortunately, the place already closed. Now, I don’t want to call all Chinese restaurants because that’s a lot!
I was thinking, maybe I should go take the train to China Town… but that’s too far for a siopao… but hey.. if you really really really want it…. Hehehehe.

Anyway, I asked my office mates here if they know of a place that sells “pork buns”. Some of them knew what I was talking about, some of them don’t. So they told me to go to this Chinese restaurant 5 blocks away. So I walked to get my lunch siopao! But when I got there… they don’t have it anymore… meaning they ran out of it for the day… what they have are the baked buns.. not the steamed buns!!!! Waaahhh!!! GREAT!!!! Well, just to at least taste the meat inside… since it’s the same, I had the baked pork buns. I took it back to work and ate at my desk. I wasn’t so happy.. but it I wasn’t too disappointed either. I don’t know if I wanted pork buns again tomorrow. I told my husband that I want pork buns so he’s taking me tomorrow for lunch. Oh well…

Weirdo!

I woke up this morning and went to bathroom to take a shower. While I was taking a shower, I started crying! I was thinking, why am I crying??? But it feels good to cry, so why stop? But then again, my eyes will be bulgy, and I’ll look horrible! So I tried to stop myself … Man! That was hard to do… especially when you feel good crying. Anyway, when I got out of the bathroom, my doggie was outside waiting for me… looking at me like… why are you crying? Awwwh!!!! So I picked him up and gave him a hug. After that he was just following and watching me the whole time… like making sure that I was ok.



I’m thinking… why did I cry??? Hormones I guess??? Gheez… pregnant women are weirdos! Hahahahah… that includes me!

Awesome!

August 25, 2005
8:59am

So I finally went to the doctor last night. She confirmed that I am 7 and a half weeks pregnant. I am due to deliver on or about April 15, 2006.
I didn’t know what to expect. She took a pregnancy test, it was positive, then we went to the ultrasound room. She showed me the sac where the baby is, and she also showed me how small the baby is right now. The baby already has a heart beat, but it’s too small to monitor or to hear it. It was awesome! She said that the first trimester is the most critical stage so I have to be careful. I can see a very small thing pounding on the monitor. Man! I can’t believe I’m growing a person inside me!!! My doctor said that the heartbeat only started the past week. Cool!

Food!!!

August 24, 2005
11:48am

Ok, it’s early… I know.. but I’m reading through the message boards again… hihihihihi.
This is because the comments of some of the mothers-to-be are so funny that it makes me feel better… somewhat.
I’ve been feeling queasy for the past week so I’m looking for people who either feel worse or feel the same. I’m jealous to read the entries of those who are not feeling queasy, but feel bad for those who throw up everyday. Here is one of the things that they said… “Maybe if I don't feel so disgusting all the time then I can stop thinking of my baby as a parasite.” I started smiling and trying not to laugh here at work… hihihihihi.

Actually, I feel better this morning. But as soon as I got to work and started feeling hungry… I felt the queasy feeling lurking around… UGH!!!!
I am hoping that some days, I won’t feel this queasy feeling the whole day… and feel normal again.

Ok.. now I’m hungry again… I need to go to the bank, get $$ and then buy food!!!

How?

I was reading through the message board to read some things that will make me feel better… to know that I am not alone. One of the quotes that struck me is this:

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
—Elizabeth Stone

I wouldn’t know yet… since my baby is as big as a dime… or sometimes Joe would call it “Nickel”. But somehow, in my own little way, I understand the quote. Coz even if my baby is just as big as dime right now, I am already worried about it. What more if it’s already a full grown baby, then you take care of this person from the time she/he was conceived to the time that this person can take care of her/himself… and most of the time, even if your child is already an adult… and they are taking care of you instead of you taking care of them, you still want to take care of them and think about them first before youself.

Blech!

I’m going to the doctor tomorrow… I can’t wait!!!! I hate this feeling of… hungry but don’t know what to eat… because whatever food you think of makes you feel queasy. I’ve been like this for almost a week now. (sigh) Last Saturday, we had my in-laws for dinner to show them the new dining set and some other new stuff that we did at home. I went to the basement to go get something… and Joe followed me downstairs. He asked me if we should tell his family and my sisters about our situation since they are all there already. I thought about it too… but I don’t want to say anything until we’re sure. I’ve already taken 3 HPT (Home Pregnancy Test) and they all said it’s POSITIVE. We just have to pray that everything will go well. I may not feel well everyday… but we want the baby healthy and smart.

I actually spoke with one of my high school classmates. She already had her baby so I asked her about my symptoms and how long will it last. She said the nausea lasted only until the end of the first trimester. The thing is, it’s different for every pregnancy. So I won’t really know…. Oh man!!!! (pout)

I found this in one of the Ivillage message boards:
If you're pregnant, there's an 80 percent chance you're going to grapple with nausea and vomiting for the first few months. "Morning sickness," as it's called (though it can happen at any time of day), is the most common side effect of pregnancy. But statistics provide little comfort when you're heading off to work each morning feeling queasy.
Morning sickness appears to be linked to shifting levels of two hormones — human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) and estrogen — which are produced by the placenta and fetus and cause the stomach to empty more slowly. Nausea is more common in first pregnancies, in young women, and in women carrying multiple fetuses.
But morning sickness isn't all bad. Studies have revealed that morning sickness may actually be good for your developing fetus. A study in the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology released in May 2000 suggested that morning sickness could help regulate levels of insulin in a pregnant woman's bloodstream, particularly during the early stages of pregnancy when bloodstream insulin levels tend to increase. Insulin, which is released in response to food intake, regulates blood sugar levels. As insulin levels increase in the bloodstream, more fat is metabolized. It appears that during early pregnancy, vomiting keeps insulin levels down, thus slowing fat metabolism. This is beneficial to the fetus because it ensures there are enough nutrients to fuel its early development.
Sources: Mayo Clinic HealthOasis; American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology; March of Dimes: 888-MODIMES,

Positive?

When I went to Philippines for a vacation last April, I stopped taking my BBT (Basal Body Temperature). This is a tool women use to check the body temperature to figure out if we are ovulating or not. I’m not sure if you know, but my husband and I have been trying since October 2004. Anyway, It was hard to take the BBT in Philippines because of jetlag, etc. When I got back here in New York, I still did not take my BBT. Joe and I decided to stop monitoring ourselves and take it easy in baby making. At that point, we were both stressing out and worried about our soon to be home. So that was May 2005. We finally signed the contract and were able to move to OUR HOME on July 4th weekend. I knew that we will be stressed about fixing the house, buying, painting, etc. So I still did not bother taking my BBT. Then 4 weeks ago, I had the urge to take my BBT again. On the 2nd day, my temperature went up. I was thinking to myself that in 2 weeks, I will get my monthly visitor. So I still went on and took my BBT. 2 weeks later (August 14, 2005), my visitor hasn’t arrived, I’ve been having cramps for 2 weeks and my temperature is still up. So I decided to take a HPT just for the sake of it… and not really expecting anything. On the stick, there were 2 visible lines. The other one was lighter than the other. I thought both lines should be dark so I figured it was negative. So I moved on with my life thinking I’m not pregnant. August 16, 2005, Tuesday came and I started feeling tired. The next day, I started reading message boards for women who are trying to get pregnant. One of the soon to be mothers said that she saw 2 lines and the other one was faint, but it’s still positive. And people were saying that 2 lines is 2 lines… it’s positive. So, I started thinking to myself…. Wait a minute… I had 2 LINES!!! Holy s_iT!!!! When I got home, I still felt tired and went to sleep at 8pm. I woke up the next morning and tried another HPT to make sure, and went online to check the instructions on the proper use and how to read the results (coz I threw the paper that came with it). I followed the instructions, and lo and behold… 2 lines appeared! I even took pictures of it!!!! When Joe woke up… or let me say, when I woke him up, I told him…and he was just somewhat surprised coz he said I was already acting weird. He said that he’s happy but doesn’t want to get carried away yet until the doctor says it’s true. So I called the doctor to make an appointment. Unfortunately, I have to wait a week. So here I am… still feeling nauseous, appetite is all whacked, feeling tired and want to take a nap.. here at work.

We decided that we won’t tell anybody until the doctor verifies that we’re pregnant. Once she verifies it, we will tell our families only. After my first trimester, then we’ll tell our friends and co-workers. Actually, my staff has been wondering because I’ve been acting strange to them. Yesterday I took a half day off because I wasn’t feeling well. Today, I had chicken wings for breakfast, and wanted pizza…(and I’m not a pizza person). I didn’t say anything when one of my staff asked if I’m pregnant. All I said was that “I’m just hungry”.

My husband and I are really hoping that we are pregnant. All the symptoms and the sticks say I am… but we’ll never know until it’s confirmed by the doctor.

The Perfect Imperfection

The perfect imperfection...

Before I got married or even met my husband, I did not know what to expect in a marriage. However, as a hopeless romantic, I have my own ideas of what a good relationship is... and note that I said 'good', not 'perfect'.

FAMILY...

I grew up in a broken, distorted, weird family. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE all of them. It is because of them that I became who I am. There is so much to say about our lives so I won't even go there.

Anyway, to tell you how distorted this family is, when I first met my mother, somebody told me that I called her "Tita" or Aunt in English. I did not know her as my mother since my Aunts (father side) and my Paternal Grandparents took care of me until I was around 3 years old (I think). Then when I met my Dad, I called him 'Mama' or 'Mister' in English as I did not know him either. But of course through time, I started regarding them as "Nanay" or "Mom" in English and "Tatay" or "Dad" in English. At the age of 6, my mother went to Middle East to work as a Nurse. My mother did not really see me and my brother and sisters grow up. She had her own life especially when she re-married. So we don't really know each other as well as other mothers and daughters out there. But... I don't regret it.

I read somewhere that things happen in life for a reason, and I truly believe in that. I learned that divorced mother and father is not so bad at all, compared to hearing your parents fight with each other everyday. I hate it when people yell at each other. I learned that you can be a better person this way. I think My Paternal Aunts and Uncle and my Paternal Grandparents did a really good job at nurturing my siblings and I. We all graduated in College without any problems. None of us are drug addicts. My brother will be a registered nurse soon and the 3 of us girls are working professionals (soon for my youngest sister). I AM VERY PROUD OF MY FAMILY.

Now that all of us are older, there are so many things that you'll realize as an adult. One thing I realized is that I am very protective of my sisters and brother. It may seem not likely to them, but I know that the one thing I don't want to happen is for them to get hurt. Unfortunately, I have to let them be for the rough times in life make them a better person.

Each of us are unique... we all know that. And... if you look the 4 of us siblings, we DO NOT look like we are siblings. We can probably pass as cousins. I thank God for all of our uniqueness because I love all of them for who they are. And since nobody is perfect, there are certain quirks that each of us have that can be really annoying and funny. Accepting these quirks tells you that you love them for who they are.

I love my family. It doesn't matter if it's broken, distorted or weird. I love my family's perfect imperfection.

FRIENDSHIP...

I had 4 childhood friends since I was 6 and I only have 3 friends left now. Jennifer is one of my childhood friends. I've known her since I was 6 years old. We grew up together and went to the same High School. She's 1 batch higher than me, but we still remained friends in school. I saw her graduate in high school and go through college. After graduation, Jene (as we call her) and her school friends went to a club. And there... they died. The club burned down. There were 300 people in the club so the officials had to split the bodies to different funeral homes. When I found out about this, I went and helped her family search for her body. It was devastating. What's worse was I was leaving in a couple of days to go to the United States of America. On the day I left, was the day of her burial so I was not able to attend it.

8 years ago, there were 5 of us. When Jene died, we were down to 4. And when I left for America, they were down to 3. It is sad to think about it. My friends are not good with technology so I don't get to talk to them online. We all have our own family problems, and annoying habits. But we are still really good friends until now and I've known them since I was 6... and I am now 30 years old. When we see each other, it's non stop talking. If you can only hear us and don't see who's talking... it would seem that a dozen people are talking at the same time. Figure out how we actually understand each other! One of my friends have a daughter but no husband, the other is a housewife... or soon to be... and no work. My best friend has a long distance relationship-boyfriend and longs for him to go back to her. The 4 of us rarely talks to each other anymore... but the good part is... when we do see each other, we just pick up where we left off.... and it feels good.

I love my friends. It doesn't matter if we don't talk everyday. I love my friends' perfect imperfections.

HUSBAND

I have only gone through 3 boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, and I married the last one. On my College Senior year, we had a Philosophy course that concentrated on relationships.... and I mean all types of relationships - with your friends, family, boyfriend, husband, pet, co-worker, etc. But of course as teenagers, we loved talking about boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. I wrote down all the phrases, verses, quotes that I thought were important. There were a couple of things that I was able to learn and apply to my own life...

One of them goes something like this...

A love relationship is like two separate islands sharing the same water of love that brushes their shores

I learned that in a love relationship, both do not force each other to change their individualities, but embrace their uniqueness. Love is not perfect. There will always be somebody who will be worse or better than your partner. But what makes a relationship last is when both of you love and accept each other for who they are.

There are certain people who would say that "opposites attract" or some people would say that you have to be compatible to have a lasting relationship/marriage...

You know what I think? I think it doesn't matter if your personalities are the same or opposite. What's important is how you accept and love each other for no matter what both of you will go through life, you will be there for each other.

My husband and I... I can't tell if we are opposite or if we're the same. Honestly... I think we're both... it depends on what you want to talk about.

We both love eating, we love desert, we love traveling, we hate gardening, we hate crowded places, we love our families, we both want to have 2 kids.

I love my sleep, he wakes up early.
I love to drive, he hates driving.
I love roller coasters, he hates them!
I love animals, he's not fond of them... except for our dog. For my husband, Shadow is the best dog in the world... now that's love.

These are only few of the obvious and small things. When my husband asks me, why do I love him... all I can say is... "I love you because I want to"

I don't love him because he loves me... well... maybe that's why we got married because he loves me too....

I don't love him because he can do a lot of stuff for me or makes me feel good, or makes me feel better or makes me laugh

I don't love him because he's very friendly, kind, considerate

...or because he stood beside me when I was lonely and alone...

I don't like it when he gets so cranky because it's hot.
I don't like it when he gets cranky because he's hungry.
I don't like it when he gets loud.

but... even though he has all these quirks, I love my husband's perfect imperfection... I still love him... because I love loving him.

The Sacrament of Waiting

THE SACRAMENT OF WAITING

The English poet John Milton once wrote that those who stand and wait also serve. I think I would go further and say that those who wait render the highest form of service. Waiting requires more self-discipline, more self-control and emotional maturity, more sustaining love in our cause, more unwavering hope in the future, more sustaining love in our hearts than all the great deeds of deering-do that go by the name of action.

Waiting is a mystery – a natural sacrament of life – there is a meaning hidden in all the times we have to wait. It must be an important mystery because there is so much waiting in our lives.

Everyday is filled with those little moments of waiting – testing our patience and our nerves, schooling us in self-control – “pacencia lang”. We wait for meals to be served, for a letter to arrive, for a friend to call or show up for a date. We wait on line at cinemas and theaters, concerts and circuses. Our airline terminals, railway stations, and bus depots are great temples of waiting filled with men and women who wait in joy for the arrival of a loved one – or wait in sadness to say goodbye and give that last wave of the hand. We wait for birthdays and vacations – we wait for Christmas. We wait for spring to come – or autumn – for the rains to begin or stop.

And we wait for ourselves to grow from childhood to maturity. We wait for those inner voices that tell us when we are ready for the next step. We wait for graduation, for our first job, our first promotion. We wait for success and recognition. We wait to grow up – to reach the stage where we make our own decisions.

We cannot remove this waiting from our lives. It is part of the tapestry of living – the fabric in which the threads are woven that tell the story of our lives.


Yet current philosophies would have us forget the need to wait, “grab all the gusto you can get”. So reads one of America’s great Beer advertisements – Get it now. Instant pleasure – Instant transcendence. Don’t wait for anything. Life is short – Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow you’ll die. And so they rationalize us into accepting unlicensed and irresponsible freedom – premarital and extramarital affairs – they warn against attachment and commitment – against expecting anything of anybody, or allowing them to expect anything of us – against vows and promises – against duty and responsibility – against dropping any anchors in the currents of our life that will cause us to hold and wait.

This may be the correct prescription for pleasure – but even that is fleeting and doubtful – what was it Shakespeare said about the mad pursuit of pleasure – “Past reason hunted, and once had, past reason hated.” Not if we wish to be real human beings, spirit as well as heart, we have to learn to wait. For if we never learn to wait, we’ll never learn to love someone other than ourselves.

For most of all waiting means waiting for someone else. It is a mystery, brushing by our face everyday like a stray wind or a leaf falling from a tree. Anyone who has ever loved knows how much waiting goes into it – how much waiting is important for love to grow – to flourish for a life-time.

Why is this? Why can’t we have right now what we so desperately want and need? Why must we wait – 2 years, 3 years, 5 years – and seeming waste so much time? You might as well ask why a tree should take so long to bear fruit – the seed to flower – carbon to change into diamond.

There is no simple answer – no more than there is to life’s other demands – having to say goodbye to someone you love because either you or they have already made other commitments; or because they have to grow and find the meaning of their own lives – having yourself to leave home and loved ones to fine your own path – Goodbyes, like waiting, are also sacraments of our lives.

All we have to know is that growth – the budding, the flowering of love needs patient waiting. We have to give each other time to grow. There is no way we can make someone else truly love us or we them, except through time. So we give each other that mysterious gift of waiting – of being present without making demands or asking rewards. There is nothing harder to do than this. It truly tests the depth and sincerity of our love. But there is life in the gift we give.


So lovers wait for each other – until they can see things the same way – or let each other freely see things in quite different ways.


There are times when lovers hurt each other and cannot regain the balance and intimacy of the way they were. They have to wait – in silence – but still present to each other – until the pain subsides to an ache and then only a memory and the threads of the tapestry can be woven together again in a single love story.

What do we lose when we refuse to wait? When we try to find short cuts through life – when we try to incubate love and rush blindly and foolishly into a commitment we are neither mature nor responsible enough to assume. We lose the hope of ever truly loving or of being loved. Think of all the great love stories of history and literature – isn’t this of their very essence, that they are filled with this strange but common mystery – that waiting is part of the substance – the basic fabric – against which the story of that true love is written.

How can we ever find true love if we are too impatient to wait for it?