Dilemma...
Song: I Love You… Goodbye
Artists: Nina
I’ve been browsing the web searching for stuff to do tomorrow, (Memorial Day) in Manhattan. While I was browsing, I’m listening to Nina’s music. Then she started singing the song “I Love You Goodbye”. I think this was originated by Celine Dion. It’s such a sad song. Part of the song says “Leaving someone, when you love someone, Is the hardest thing to do, when you love someone as much as I love you”.
This song reminded me of a story that my friend told me. Her friend, who we will name “Angela” to hide her identity, is married. She fell in love with another guy. We will name him “Eric”. They see each other quite often. They do love each other, but Angela was afraid of leaving her husband because of what other people would say and what it would do to her life. The guy really loves the girl but he knew that the girl will not leave her husband. He found another woman. During this process, Angela and Eric were still seeing each other. Eric got married…. And still they saw each other. Eric is not having marriage problems, but he still loves Angela more than his wife. Angela on the other hand has some problems with her husband, but not so bad. Anyway, one day when Eric and Angela was talking, Eric mentioned to Angela that if she is willing to leave her husband, Eric will leave his wife so that they can be together. From the time that Eric told Angela of what he is willing to do for her, she’s been crying every night. She started confiding to my best friend. So my best friend told me what happened. She didn’t know what to say because she’s not married, so she asked me what to tell her friend. This made me think…
This story can go either way. It’s a catch 22. Damn if you do, damn if you don’t.
Love is such a tricky word. We can say that “she cannot leave her husband because she promised to love him until they both die”… but… “Would you stay with someone you don’t love anymore?”. It’s a battle between your heart and mind… that your soul gets confused. If you are a Catholic like me, DIVORCE is frowned upon. So it is harder for the family and most especially for you. Now going back to the couple’s dilemma…. What made it worse was that the guy got married!!! I mean… why live with a lie?
What do couples, who’ve experienced this, do in this situation? It seems that I’ve been hearing a lot of stories like this lately. Someone even said…
“Would you throw all reason to the wind and decide to get together? Or would you just accept the reality and try to live your life bearing the pain of separation and longing because you don’t want to hurt the people around you? It’s true that reason does not truly matter when love hits you and it’s not bad to want to abandon all sanity. But in truth, anarchy will rule if all that matters are ourselves. So we are bound by rules of society in order to preserve order and harmony and prevent divisiveness. Besides, what would life be if only we live for our own pleasures?”
That’s why I said previously that this situation is a catch 22. Because of you leave your current relationship/marriage, a lot of people; especially the family will be affected. Women who leave their husbands look worse than a man leaving his wife. People tend to criticize you and don’t even ask for your point of view. On the other hand, if you stay with your current relationship/marriage. Wouldn’t you be approving a false relationship? That in itself is a big lie. “What would you do? Would you live a bittersweet existence denying yourself in order to follow social norms while providing happiness to the people who matters to you? Or do you follow your heart and hurt others in order to live a full and wonderful life exulting in each other’s company?”
This whole conversation all started because I posted on my blog something about “risking” which concerns one of my friends who is going through a separation.
My friend said that she knows what I will do if the couple’s story happened to me. I said… “If it was me?... It would be hard to even put myself on that situation. It is rare that 2 people who are both married would be willing to leave their marriage for each other. Most of the time, only 1 of the couple would be willing to do it. So… it’s hard to imagine, it’s hard to empathize. It’s easier to actually put myself in a position if the other person does not want to do anything out of the ‘social norms’ since that happens not only to married couples, but to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.”
What would you say to a friend going through this kind of dilemma????
Artists: Nina
I’ve been browsing the web searching for stuff to do tomorrow, (Memorial Day) in Manhattan. While I was browsing, I’m listening to Nina’s music. Then she started singing the song “I Love You Goodbye”. I think this was originated by Celine Dion. It’s such a sad song. Part of the song says “Leaving someone, when you love someone, Is the hardest thing to do, when you love someone as much as I love you”.
This song reminded me of a story that my friend told me. Her friend, who we will name “Angela” to hide her identity, is married. She fell in love with another guy. We will name him “Eric”. They see each other quite often. They do love each other, but Angela was afraid of leaving her husband because of what other people would say and what it would do to her life. The guy really loves the girl but he knew that the girl will not leave her husband. He found another woman. During this process, Angela and Eric were still seeing each other. Eric got married…. And still they saw each other. Eric is not having marriage problems, but he still loves Angela more than his wife. Angela on the other hand has some problems with her husband, but not so bad. Anyway, one day when Eric and Angela was talking, Eric mentioned to Angela that if she is willing to leave her husband, Eric will leave his wife so that they can be together. From the time that Eric told Angela of what he is willing to do for her, she’s been crying every night. She started confiding to my best friend. So my best friend told me what happened. She didn’t know what to say because she’s not married, so she asked me what to tell her friend. This made me think…
This story can go either way. It’s a catch 22. Damn if you do, damn if you don’t.
Love is such a tricky word. We can say that “she cannot leave her husband because she promised to love him until they both die”… but… “Would you stay with someone you don’t love anymore?”. It’s a battle between your heart and mind… that your soul gets confused. If you are a Catholic like me, DIVORCE is frowned upon. So it is harder for the family and most especially for you. Now going back to the couple’s dilemma…. What made it worse was that the guy got married!!! I mean… why live with a lie?
What do couples, who’ve experienced this, do in this situation? It seems that I’ve been hearing a lot of stories like this lately. Someone even said…
“Would you throw all reason to the wind and decide to get together? Or would you just accept the reality and try to live your life bearing the pain of separation and longing because you don’t want to hurt the people around you? It’s true that reason does not truly matter when love hits you and it’s not bad to want to abandon all sanity. But in truth, anarchy will rule if all that matters are ourselves. So we are bound by rules of society in order to preserve order and harmony and prevent divisiveness. Besides, what would life be if only we live for our own pleasures?”
That’s why I said previously that this situation is a catch 22. Because of you leave your current relationship/marriage, a lot of people; especially the family will be affected. Women who leave their husbands look worse than a man leaving his wife. People tend to criticize you and don’t even ask for your point of view. On the other hand, if you stay with your current relationship/marriage. Wouldn’t you be approving a false relationship? That in itself is a big lie. “What would you do? Would you live a bittersweet existence denying yourself in order to follow social norms while providing happiness to the people who matters to you? Or do you follow your heart and hurt others in order to live a full and wonderful life exulting in each other’s company?”
This whole conversation all started because I posted on my blog something about “risking” which concerns one of my friends who is going through a separation.
My friend said that she knows what I will do if the couple’s story happened to me. I said… “If it was me?... It would be hard to even put myself on that situation. It is rare that 2 people who are both married would be willing to leave their marriage for each other. Most of the time, only 1 of the couple would be willing to do it. So… it’s hard to imagine, it’s hard to empathize. It’s easier to actually put myself in a position if the other person does not want to do anything out of the ‘social norms’ since that happens not only to married couples, but to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.”
What would you say to a friend going through this kind of dilemma????
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